When I was asked to write up a new bio for our website, only one thing really came to mind… Why?
Now hang on a second. This is the internet.
Land of the Boobies... Home of the Free Youtube Videos
The Center of the Universe (if you like pictures of cats)
So why the hell did you end up here? Don’t get me wrong… I’m honored.
You took a break from trying to find real pictures of Katy Perry boobs!
All I am saying is I can’t believe anyone actually would come here on purpose.
What, did you lose a bet? Did that guy you were stalking finally file a restraining order?
You should be watching redneck reality shows. Better yet, you should be supporting my Kickstarter campaign for my new reality series: Porn Pawn.
It’s all about a store run by two former, um, adult film stars, who specialize in pawning old sex toys. I already have major network interest from ABC Family.
If you need a song played over lunch, just call (608) 784-0957 or email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Now go get a life. Do an image search for geoducks.