The most important thing to have in common in a successful relationship is…..?

When I moved here in 2003, it was to escape a really bad relationship.

If you’ve listened to our show, I reference it as a funny anecdote from time to time, but it was a really disastrous and damaging situation. We argued constantly. there was the whole knife incident, and it truly did some emotional and spiritual damage to me. Damage that I didn’t realize until years later.

But after moving here, I made up my mind to never be in a relationship like that again. And after going through several casual relationships and a couple semi-serious, I found my wife and we now live happily ever after.

Sorta. We’re not without our problems or struggles, but for the most part, we get along great and have a good, solid relationship.

One of the main reasons is that neither my wife nor I wanted to have kids. And that’s not easy to find in this day & age. Sure, people say they don’t want kids at the start of a relationship…but give it 5-7 years and they might be changing their tune.

What else is important in a successful relationship? I’m not an expert, obviously…but a recent survey asked people what things you need to have in common for a relationship to succeed and here’s the results:

1.  Future plans and long-term goals.  Like how much money you need to make, and whether you want kids.  57% agreed it’s important for that stuff to line up.

2.  Shared values, 56%.

3.  Sense of humor, 50%.

4.  Sex drive and your overall attitude about sex, 50%.

5.  Lifestyle, 49%.

6.  Personality traits, 46%.

7.  Work ethic, 44%.

8.  Hobbies and interests, 41%.

9.  Political opinions, 35%.

10.  Political actions, 27%.  Like who you vote for, and whether you take something like climate change seriously enough to actually change your habits. 

For more info on this survey, click here.