I’m Tired of People Maligning Candy Corn!

This is one hill I will fight tooth and nail on! Candy Corn has long been maligned as somehow a candy less than worthy. I’m here to say no more!

Seriously. Candy Corn is my favorite vegetable if I’m being honest. Hand me a bag some Corns and I’ll show you one happy (recovering) fat kid! “Do you only like the Corns?” I hear you asking your screen. No. Candy Corn Pumpkins are a delicacy and should be consumed as such.

“Why do you like Candy Corn and why do you keep capitalizing it?” you now agitated at my writing style ask. Because it is delicious. The way the sugar breaks apart in your mouth, the subtle crunch of the sugar glaze I mean how can you not! As for the capitalizing Candy Corn simple, because it deserves more respect and if I don’t give it who will? This delicious candy deserves better than this world has given it and I have had enough. I’m now standing while writing this to make my words sound stronger.

I say let’s take our unfounded hate for Candy Corn and the people who love it and transfer it towards the people who like circus peanuts. The Wife loves them and honestly every time she buys a bag I consider divorce. What is it even supposed to taste like? The circus? What is even that flavor, sad clown tears, children crying and animal abuse? I literally have no idea how any company that makes them is still in business. There has to be some secret society funding these factories.

Anyways I digest. Let’s rally around Candy Corn and enjoy of natures true delicacies. Power to the Candy Corn loving people!